5 Signs of Emotional Abuse

I counsel a lot of men and women in ministry. Pastors, teachers, Bishops,  Apostles, police officers, as well as those who don't hold high offices of authority. No matter what your station if life anyone is susceptible to emotional abuse. 

While my own relationships have been less than perfect, nonetheless there seems to be a gift that I have for helping others through the often most difficult times in their lives. In this post I define emotional abuse, give an easy to understand explanation, and show you 5 signs to help you identify whether or not you're in an emotionally abuse relationship... If you are... then get out today!  

Call immediately Help is available so that you can live and not die: National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Many times there is emotional abuse.

Psychological abuse, often known as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another person to a behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, clinical depression or post-traumatic stress disorder amongst other psychological problems.

Healing After Heartbreak: A Pastor’s Guide to Moving Forward

 Healing After Heartbreak: A Pastor’s Guide to Moving Forward

Heartbreak is never easy. It’s more than just a passing feeling—it’s an emotional and spiritual challenge that can shake you to your core. In the moment, it may feel like the end of the world, but I promise you, it isn’t. The pain is real, but so is the healing.

The key to overcoming heartbreak is to acknowledge your feelings and work through them with faith, patience, and intentional action. Here are some steps to help you move forward and find healing:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain

The first step in healing from heartbreak is giving yourself permission to grieve. Suppressing emotions only prolongs the healing process. Allow yourself to cry, pray, or journal your thoughts. God understands your pain, and as Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Lean on Him and know that your healing begins with honesty.

2. Cut Off Communication With Your Ex

It’s tempting to stay in touch, but continuing contact often prolongs the pain. Keeping communication open can keep wounds fresh, making it harder to move on. Consider blocking their number and removing them from social media. Give yourself the space needed to heal.

3. Surround Yourself With Supportive Friends

No one should go through heartbreak alone. Lean on your trusted friends and family for support. Reach out to your best friend, talk through your emotions, and allow them to uplift you. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Let those who love you be there for you in this season.

4. Take Care of Your Body With Exercise

Heartbreak isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. Stress and sadness can take a toll on your body, but exercise helps release endorphins, improving your mood. Whether it’s a walk, a workout, or a yoga session, moving your body helps your mind heal, too.

5. Travel and Experience New Things

A change of scenery can work wonders for a broken heart. Traveling doesn’t have to mean an expensive vacation—even a day trip to a new place can help refresh your perspective. Explore new experiences and remind yourself that life has so much to offer beyond this moment of pain.

6. Consider Speaking With a Counselor or Pastor

Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward healing. Speaking with a Christian counselor or pastor can provide clarity and comfort. They can help you process your emotions in a healthy way while also guiding you back to God’s promises for your life.

7. Say Yes to Social Invitations

Isolation often deepens heartbreak. Instead of withdrawing, make an effort to be around positive people. Accept invitations to gatherings, church events, and outings. Being around others will remind you that life continues and joy is still possible.

8. Focus on Your Goals and Dreams

Sometimes, relationships cause us to put our own goals on hold. Now is the perfect time to refocus on your dreams. Whether it’s career growth, ministry, or personal development, invest in yourself. Let this season be about rediscovering your purpose.

9. Take a Break From Social Media

Social media can make healing harder. Seeing reminders of your past relationship—or worse, your ex moving on—can be painful. Consider a temporary detox from social media to give yourself mental and emotional peace.

10. Serve Others and Find Purpose

Helping others is a powerful way to heal. Volunteer at church, join a community outreach program, or mentor someone in need. Serving shifts your focus from your pain to your purpose. As Galatians 6:2 teaches, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

11. Write a Letter—But Don’t Send It

If emotions are overwhelming, consider writing a letter to your ex—but never send it. This exercise helps you process feelings without re-engaging in the relationship. Once you’ve written it, pray over it, then let it go.

12. Don’t Wait for Closure

Closure doesn’t always come in the way we expect. Instead of waiting for answers, accept that some things won’t be fully understood. Trust that God knows what’s best for you and that He is leading you toward something greater.

13. Find New Hobbies and Interests

Rediscovering yourself is an important part of healing. Pick up a new hobby, learn a skill, or get involved in a creative pursuit. Keeping yourself engaged in meaningful activities will help you move forward with joy.

14. Reconnect With Old Friends

Sometimes, relationships pull us away from friendships. Use this time to reconnect with old friends. They can provide comfort, laughter, and support as you navigate your healing journey.

15. Don’t Rush Into a New Relationship

Healing takes time. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can lead to more heartache. Focus on becoming whole before seeking a new partnership. When the time is right, God will guide you to the right person who aligns with His plan for your life.

Finding Hope After Heartbreak

Heartbreak is tough, but it doesn’t define you. Remember, God has a greater plan for your life, and this pain is only a chapter, not the whole story. Trust Him, take care of yourself, and step into the bright future He has for you. Healing is possible, and joy will return.

Stay encouraged, and may God bless your healing journey.

— Pastor Rick

Pastor Rick is an Amazon Affiliate and receives a commission on recommended purchases

Here's a great book I recommend by Dr. Willard Harley... life changing!

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The 3 Stages of a Relationship

 In a relationship there are three stages...

Stage one. all the beautiful words and actions appear. 

There are no problems and everything is going. well. This is the time when both partners feel energetic and excited about the future. 

Stage two is where the difficulty begins. 

You start to notice each other's imperfections and argue about even the smallest, most trivial things. at this point some couples may feel disheartened and consider giving up. However, this stage can be overcome if both partners are willing to work through the issues together. It's in this stage that the foundation of understanding begins to form.

Stage three the most beautiful stage. 

This is where real love emerges. You have learned to solve problems without shouting or arguing. You understand how to treat each other with respect and compassion. You recognize each other's strengths and vulnerabilities, and your bond deepens as you grow together. This is where you truly get to know and appreciate the depths of your love.

Ask… Seek.. Knock on the door to happiness

1. Look to identify when you are transitioning from Stage One to Stage Two, and look for practical steps to take early to prepare for Stage Two's challenges?
2. Actively seek out specific techniques or strategies that can help you to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts during Stage Two without escalating arguments.
3. Ask yourself what exercises or habits that can help you to strengthen your connection to reach Stage Three more effectively?

Suggestions for a More Loving Relationship:

1. Prioritize Open Communication: Encourage regular "check-in" conversations where both partners can openly share their feelings, concerns, and aspirations without judgment. This can help identify and address issues early before they escalate.
2. Practice Daily Acts of Kindness: Small, consistent gestures of love—like writing a heartfelt note, making their favorite meal, or simply expressing gratitude—can reinforce affection and keep the relationship vibrant.
3. Invest in Shared Growth: Participate in activities that help you grow together, such as taking a class, traveling, or reading a book on relationships. Shared experiences can deepen your bond and create lasting memories.

Above all you two MUST be in agreement to work together openly and honestly. I realize now that because I didn’t know these things my relationship failed… I share this with you so yours won’t!

Faith as the Foundation: Building Stronger Relationships Through God

 

In a world that often feels disconnected, many of us yearn for deeper, more meaningful relationships. Whether it’s in our marriages, friendships, or ministry partnerships, the secret to truly flourishing relationships lies in one unchanging truth: faith must be the foundation.

At the heart of this principle is a simple but profound idea—our relationship with God serves as a blueprint for how we connect with others. When our faith is strong, our relationships are infused with the qualities that reflect God’s love: trust, patience, forgiveness, and grace.

I did not always remember to do this in many of my relationships and so I've struggled with a lot of pain caused by this emptiness brought on by a lack of spiritual undergirding in my relationships. 

Faith Strengthens Marriages

Marriage is one of the most intimate relationships designed by God, and faith plays a critical role in keeping it strong. When both partners prioritize their relationship with God, they create a shared foundation of values, purpose, and love.

Pastor Rick Greene teaches that praying together, studying Scripture, and seeking God’s guidance as a couple can transform a marriage. These practices create unity, foster understanding, and provide the tools to navigate challenges with grace.

Faith Builds Ministry Partnerships

In ministry, strong partnerships are essential for advancing God’s kingdom. But just like any relationship, ministry partnerships require trust, collaboration, and a shared mission.

Pastor Rick emphasizes that faith brings clarity and purpose to these relationships. When ministry leaders keep God at the center, they are empowered to work together harmoniously, support one another, and remain steadfast even in difficult times.

How Faith Transforms Relationships

Faith is not just a private, spiritual practice—it’s a way of life that influences how we treat others. Pastor Rick often shares these Bible-based principles to help individuals strengthen their relationships:

1. Love Unconditionally
   “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). God’s love is unconditional, and as His children, we’re called to show that same love to others. This kind of love creates a safe space for trust and growth.

2. Practice Forgiveness
   Relationships are not perfect, but faith teaches us to forgive as God forgives us. Pastor Rick reminds us that forgiveness is not about forgetting but about letting go of resentment and seeking reconciliation.

3. Walk in Humility
   Faith humbles us, reminding us that we are all works in progress. By embracing humility, we can approach our relationships with a servant’s heart, putting others before ourselves.

4. Seek God’s Wisdom
   Scripture provides timeless wisdom for navigating relational challenges. Pastor Rick encourages individuals to turn to God’s Word for guidance, praying for discernment in every relationship.

Encouragement from Pastor Rick

Pastor Rick Greene’s mission is to help individuals deepen their connection with God, using that relationship as a guide for building bonds that last. Through practical advice and heartfelt encouragement, he shows how faith can heal wounds, strengthen connections, and lead to lasting joy.

Whether you’re seeking to improve your marriage, build stronger ministry partnerships, or simply become a better friend, start by focusing on your faith. When you allow God to be the foundation of your relationships, you’ll discover a love and strength that endures through every season.

Is Selfishness Keeping you From Having a Great Relationship?

 

 A Message from Pastor Rick Greene: Overcoming Selfishness in Relationships

Selfishness is a trait that often leads people to prioritize their own interests without considering how their actions might affect others. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines "selfishness" as:

 "The tendency to act excessively or solely in a manner that benefits oneself, even if others are disadvantaged."

You might not see yourself as selfish, but perhaps you lean towards being self-centered. Webster describes this as being preoccupied with oneself and one’s affairs.

Selfishness or self-centeredness can indicate a lack of trust in God or a lack of sensitivity towards others. But let me be clear: if this describes you, **you are not a bad person.** We are all human, and we all have areas in our lives that need adjustment. Let's look at some examples from the Bible:

King David: Despite being "a man after God's own heart," David's selfish desire for Bathsheba led him to commit adultery and orchestrate the death of her husband, Uriah.

King Ahab: Ahab's selfishness made him more concerned about possessions than people. He coveted Naboth's vineyard and was delighted when his wife Jezebel secured it for him by having Naboth killed.

Absalom: The third son of King David, Absalom, was selfishly ambitious and harbored hatred towards his father.

The children of Israel:Selfishness caused the Israelites to "willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved."

The rich young ruler: Selfishness caused the rich young ruler to turn his back on Jesus.

Selfishness in relationships can create unhealthy dynamics where one partner consistently acts in this **heir own self-interest, disregarding the needs and feelings of the other. This often leads to resentment, disappointment, and can even end the relationship.

I've learned that effective communication is the key to having a great relationship, but the issue is that many of us haven't been taught how to communicate properly. By seeking understanding, showing empathy, and prioritizing the well-being of others, we can foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Remember, God calls us to love and care for one another, just as He loves and cares for us. Let's strive to reflect His love in our relationships. 

We will learn how to stop the selfishness and grow in a happy relationship if both parties are willing.

HOW TO FIND A HUSBAND?

 

The Definitive Way On How Top Get Married...

How to Find a Husband: A Christian Perspective

Finding a husband is a deeply personal journey, filled with anticipation, prayer, and sometimes a bit of anxiety. As Christians, we approach this journey with faith, seeking God’s guidance every step of the way. Here’s a roadmap to help you navigate this significant part of your life.

1.Seek God's Will

The first and foremost step in finding a husband is to seek God’s will for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 reassures us that God has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Spend time in prayer, asking God to reveal His plan for you. Trust that He knows the desires of your heart and will guide you towards a partner who aligns with His vision for your life.

2. **Focus on Personal Growth**

Before seeking a partner, focus on becoming the best version of yourself. This doesn’t mean striving for perfection, but rather growing in your faith, character, and understanding of God’s Word. Proverbs 31:30 reminds us that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Cultivate a strong relationship with God, as this will be the foundation of your future marriage.

3. **Join Christian Communities**

Engaging with Christian communities, both online and offline, can open doors to meeting like-minded individuals. Participate in church activities, join small groups, and attend Christian conferences and retreats. These settings provide opportunities to build friendships and potentially meet a future husband who shares your faith and values.

4. **Pray for Your Future Husband**

Praying for your future husband, even before you meet him, is a powerful practice. Ask God to prepare both your hearts for a Christ-centered relationship. Pray for his spiritual growth, health, and well-being. Trust that God is working in his life just as He is in yours.

5. **Be Patient and Trust God's Timing**

Patience is crucial in the journey of finding a husband. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us that there is a season for everything, and this includes finding a life partner. Trust that God’s timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t align with your own expectations. Use this waiting period to deepen your relationship with God and serve others.

6. **Seek Wise Counsel**

Surround yourself with trusted friends, family, and mentors who can offer godly advice and support. Proverbs 15:22 emphasizes the importance of seeking counsel: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” These individuals can provide valuable insights and encouragement as you navigate your journey.

7. **Be Open and Proactive**

While it’s essential to trust God’s timing, it’s also important to be open and proactive. Don’t be afraid to express your interest and intentions when you meet someone who aligns with your values. Building a relationship requires mutual effort and honesty. 

8. **Trust in God’s Plan**

Ultimately, the key to finding a husband is trusting in God’s plan for your life. Proverbs 3:5-6 advises us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. Trust that God knows what’s best for you and that His plan will bring you the deepest joy and fulfillment.

Conclusion

The journey to finding a husband is a beautiful blend of faith, personal growth, and community. Remember to seek God’s will, focus on becoming the best version of yourself, engage with Christian communities, and trust in God’s perfect timing. As you pray and wait patiently, keep your heart open to the possibilities that God places before you. May your journey be blessed and filled with His grace and love.

In Christ,

Dr. Rick Greene

Understanding and Nurturing the Sexual and Emotional Needs of Men: A Biblical Perspective for Women

 

In the journey for women navigating the intricate dance of relationships, it's crucial to understand and honor the sexual and emotional needs of your man. Rooted in your cultural heritage and guided by biblical principles, you can foster deeper connections and build resilient, loving relationships.

 Emotional Needs: The Foundation of Intimacy

1. Affirmation and Respect:

 Men, like all individuals, need affirmation and respect. Ephesians 5:33 encourages wives to respect their husbands, emphasizing that respect is a cornerstone of a loving relationship. Recognize and celebrate your partner's achievements, big or small, and offer encouragement during challenges.

2. Understanding and Empathy:

   Life's pressures, especially those uniquely experienced by men, necessitate a partner who listens and understands. James 1:19 advises, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." Practice active listening, offering a safe space for your partner to express their feelings without judgment.

3. Support and Partnership:

   Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the strength of partnership: "Two are better than one... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Stand by your partner's side, supporting their dreams and aspirations. This mutual support fortifies your bond and builds a foundation of trust.

 Sexual Needs: Celebrating God-Given Intimacy

1. Mutual Pleasure and Consent:

   Sexual intimacy is a sacred and joyous expression of love within a marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 underscores the importance of mutual consent and pleasure, stating, "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." Open communication about desires and boundaries ensures a fulfilling and respectful sexual relationship. In talk with many men they are sexually frustrated yet while desiring to be fateful to their partners. Know that a wife is the only one in eight billion people with whom your husband can be intimate with and not break his vows or righteousness to you, himself, or to God!

2. Intimacy Beyond Physical Connection:

   True intimacy encompasses emotional, spiritual, and physical dimensions. Song of Solomon 1:2 celebrates the beauty of intimate love: "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine." Nurture a holistic approach to intimacy that includes heartfelt conversations, shared spiritual practices, and tender physical affection.

3. Trust and Vulnerability:

   Trust is the bedrock of a healthy sexual relationship. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure." Building trust requires vulnerability from both partners, fostering an environment where both feel safe to express their needs and desires.

 Practical Steps to Nurture Your Relationship

1. Communicate Openly and Honestly:

   Regular, honest communication about both emotional and sexual needs is vital. Schedule time for meaningful conversations where you can both share your thoughts and feelings without interruption.

2. Invest in Quality Time Together:

   Strengthen your bond by spending quality time together. Whether it’s a date night, a weekend getaway, or simply enjoying a shared hobby, these moments of connection enrich your relationship.

3. Seek Guidance and Support:

   If challenges arise, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from trusted mentors, counselors, or your faith community. Proverbs 15:22 reminds us, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed."

 Embracing a Biblical Perspective

Incorporating biblical teachings into our relationships provides a strong framework for understanding and meeting our partners' needs. By embracing the principles of love, respect, mutual support, and open communication, we honor God and each other, creating a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

Men need women, with their unique strengths and the power of our faith, nurturing their relationships with wisdom, compassion, and a deep understanding of the beautiful, God-given needs of their men. Through yielding to God’s word, you will build lasting bonds that reflect the love and grace of our Creator.

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In writing this post, Dr. Rick Greene brings together his deep understanding of theology, his compassionate approach to relationships, and his commitment to guiding others in their spiritual and personal growth. This perspective aims to encourage and uplift, providing practical and spiritual insights for nurturing healthy, loving relationships.

What Many Women Want From Their Man

Hey! Brace yourselves for an electrifying ride as I dive into a controversial question that has tongues wagging and minds spinning: What do women ACTUALLY seek in a man? Get ready for some eye-opening revelations, because we're about to peel back the curtain and expose the shocking truth!

Money, Money, Money - It's All About the Benjamins!

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Contrary to what the politically correct crowd might want you to believe, women are often looking for one thing above all else: cold, hard cash! Yes, you heard it right, folks! Many women out there want a man who can wine and dine them, shower them with luxurious gifts, and provide a lifestyle that would make even the Kardashians envious.

 

You Are Seen!

Maya Angelou said, 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

The Power of Setting Standards in Your Relationship

 The Power of Setting Standards in Your Relationship: Meeting Your Needs for a Fulfilling Partnership

Welcome to an intense discussion about the importance of setting standards in your relationship for a truly fulfilling partnership. It's crucial to establish clear expectations and boundaries to ensure a healthy and satisfying connection with your partner. Let's dive deeper into this topic with boldness and conviction.

Recognize Your Worth:

You are deserving of love, respect, and happiness in your relationship. Know your self-worth and refuse to settle for anything less than what you deserve. Value yourself and prioritize your needs and desires within the partnership.

Being A Man of Quality!

Today I want to talk about how to become a Man of Quality.

First and foremost, let's define what a Man of Quality is. A Man of Quality is someone who has his life together, is financially stable, emotionally mature, physically fit, and has a strong sense of purpose. Essentially, he is the best version of himself.

So, how can you become a Man of Quality?

Invest in yourself: Start by investing in yourself. This means taking care of your physical and mental health, developing your skills and knowledge, and working on your personal growth. The more you invest in yourself, the more you'll grow and become a Man of Quality.

Focus on your finances: A Man of Quality is financially stable. This doesn't mean you have to be a millionaire, but you should have a solid plan for your finances. Make sure you have a budget, save money, and invest in your future.

OBEDIENCE & SUBMISSION

 Why do we have such a problem with OBEDIENCE?

Here in America it seems as though there is disgust  
for the word obedience and submission. 

As a Christian pastor, I believe that both men and women are equal in the eyes of God and are deserving of mutual love and respect within a marriage. However, obedience in marriage is a sensitive topic that requires careful consideration and understanding.

In many cases, the issue of obedience in marriage arises due to a lack of communication and understanding between partners. Women, in particular, may feel that their opinions and desires are not being heard or valued by their husbands. This can lead to a sense of resentment and resistance towards obedience.

Furthermore, some women may have experienced past trauma or abuse that makes it difficult for them to trust and submit to their husbands. It is important to recognize these issues and provide support and resources to help women heal and move towards a healthy, respectful relationship.

As a Christian pastor, I believe that obedience is not about one partner exerting control over the other, but rather a mutual commitment to love and respect. As we strive to build healthy and loving marriages, let us look to the teachings of Christ, who modeled love and servanthood to those around him. May we be filled with grace, patience, and compassion towards our spouses, seeking to understand their needs and desires. May we embrace the beauty of mutual submission and work towards building strong, loving relationships that honor God and bless those around us.

Black Men: Better Than You Think!

As a Pastor, writer and blogger, I recognize the importance of amplifying the voices and experiences of marginalized communities. In this post, I will be sharing some of the critical opinions that black women have expressed about black men.

It is essential to note that these opinions are not representative of all black women's views or experiences. Still, they offer valuable insight into the ways that gender dynamics and systemic issues can impact relationships and interactions within the black community.

One of the most common criticisms that black women voice about black men is that they often perpetuate harmful and oppressive attitudes towards women. Many black women feel that black men can be dismissive of their experiences with sexism and misogyny, and that they often prioritize their own desires and perspectives over those of women.

Additionally, black women often feel that black men do not do enough to support them and their communities. Many black men are accused of neglecting their responsibilities as fathers and partners, leaving black women to bear the burden of caring for their families and communities alone.

Some black women also feel that black men can be emotionally unavailable or lacking in empathy. This can manifest in various ways, from dismissive attitudes towards mental health concerns to a reluctance to engage in open and honest communication with their partners.

Finally, many black women feel that black men can perpetuate harmful stereotypes about blackness, such as the belief that black men are inherently violent or hypersexual. These stereotypes can be damaging to the entire black community, and many black women feel that black men need to take more responsibility for challenging and dismantling them.

In conclusion, these are just a few of the critical opinions that black women have expressed about black men. It is crucial to listen to and engage with these perspectives to build stronger and more equitable relationships within the black community.